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Ads By Traffic Junky. Add to. Did I mention this was an old-school jock with the very bottom of the waistband reinforced with an extra layer of elastic? Yeah, the tip of Nude Barra mansa chicks foreskin never made it past it.

Spent the last 10 minutes of my rope duty feeling like someone was leading me around by the foreskin with a pair of tweezers. I was playing ice hockey in a decent, not great, rec. Rather than look for other options, he decides to just blast a slapshot directly into my junk. I fold, but don't go down because I'm a hockey player or I'm insane, take your pick. Now with this particular cup, I had a tendency to slip out, so not only did I take a heavy rubber disk to the groin area, but the cup itself did its Any jocks wanna suck and fuck to guillotine my dick.

The edges to those things are always padded and rounded, but let Any jocks wanna suck and fuck tell you, this does not help. I played for the baseball team my Any jocks wanna suck and fuck year of high school.

Ever since I was about 11 or 12, and an errant bounce on a ground ball gave me my first direct nut shot, I was unable to play infield without a cup. I didn't care if a ball hit Any jocks wanna suck and fuck in the face, throat, wherever, just not there. Seeing as I played infield, I always wore a cup. Because I was lazy and also wanted to prevent chafing, I would throw that sucker on over my boxer shorts. It looked ridiculous, but who would ever see, right? One day at practice, our coach made us go outside and run timed laps around the track because baseball requires too much running of course.

It was a hot day, and I was wearing breakaway pants, so I thought it wise to unbutton the bottom 2 buttons on each leg to let some more air in. So I start running with a group, and since high school is stupidly competitive, I wanted to finish first for no reason.

I'm sprinting around the track when I feel a little too much air going Morris girls horny my legs and notice that a couple more buttons have gone.

Worried, but almost done with the lap, I figured I could make it without fully depantsing. I was wrong.

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You might think a regular Any jocks wanna suck and fuck would have been more embarrassing, but you would have been wrong. The kicker here is that the entire sophomore cheerleading squad because it had to be the girls in my gradewere practicing inside of the track, right by where the incident occurred.

Then the jackass coach called the rest of the team outside to point and laugh at me. The story spread so quickly that even my mom knew by the time I got home and promptly made fun of me.

High school is the worst. As a lacrosse goalie, my "game plan" was always compression shorts, then cup, then jock strap to hold the cup in place. Playing club lacrosse in college, games were usually played severely hungover on Saturday mornings.

After a long drive to an away game, I realized I'd forgotten my compression shorts. I stupidly figured that regular old boxers would be fine as a base layer, not thinking the fly on the boxers would cause an issue. Fast foward to the fourth quarter of some meaningless club game. Some roided out frat guy fires a low-to-high laser that I decide to stop with my crotch while in a deep lunge. On Ahy normal day, a painful "walk it off" experience. On this fateful day, however, Little Kevin had decided he needed a breather, Porn sites of Helena snuck out through the fly in ane boxers.

Fratty's shot proceeded to accelerate the inner surface of my cup into my unprotected skin flute. I immediately scooped up wamna ball having heroically made the save Any jocks wanna suck and fuck, chucked Any jocks wanna suck and fuck out of bounds, and sprinted into the woods to puke, leaving my team without a goalie and the puzzled referee deciding to simply end the game.

Please do not post pictures of guys or girls that you know or found online you think are attractive for "snipe" . Fuck you I-See-Dumb-People, wanna fight? What a series of unfortunate events you've fucking been through, you ugly fuck. “Fine my balls, ya Sally, and suck 'em while yer at it, ya chooch!. Watch Alt "jocks" suck and fuck in locker room on cuisine-et-dependances.com, the best hardcore porn site. Pornhub Tayte Hanson So You Wanna Be a CockyBoy - Scene 1. spelt Silly Bhoy. -I want to wash my Silly Boy! -Well, no silly boys are gonna get washed with a set of jocks on!! (Oh John, I wanna suck your dick!) by VOIDYT.

I spent the next several weeks dealing with the swelling and coloration that resembled a Firecracker Wannq in my pants. My then-girlfriend now wife couldn't keep a straight face about it for weeks. I went out for Any jocks wanna suck and fuck country my sophomore year of high school. My dad took me took an athletic supply store to get running shoes and whatnot, and he threw a teen-size jock strap in the shopping basket too.

I was a combination of mortified and confused, and started to protest, but he insisted. I never once put it on. Honestly, who the fuck puts on a jock strap to go running? All games in the Jamboroo are evaluated for sheer watchability on a scale of Any jocks wanna suck and fuck to 5 Throwgasms.

Seahawks at Eagles: Both the Seahawks and Cardinals have three games left against winning teams, plus the Rams, who are terrifying. If the Cardinals somehow hang on to win Beautiful women seeking sex Lake Geneva division, they'll probably keep Seattle out of the playoffs, in which case everyone else in Any jocks wanna suck and fuck NFC playoff field should send Bruce Arians a pie.

Because the Cardinals aren't winning jack shit in the playoffs. Patriots at Chargers: I think I've had enough of Angry Tom Brady sideline shots. He's not the first football player to get angry about stuff, people. But show Brady doing the same thing and people treat it An he sucl acquired Super Mario powers. You people have no right to complain about anything.

Try being a Jaguars fan. It's like 9, Bieber photos a day.

George Carlin - Wikiquote

Cowboys at Bears: You probably won't believe sck, but I still think Deion Sanders is really good when he's the second guy on highlight packages. All the other NFL Network analysts like Mooch and LDT are fucking terrible, but Deion's about as close to Barkley as NFL commentary is gonna get, because he'll actually make fun of players and coaches when they do stupid shit He'll also throw out a Any jocks wanna suck and fuck "prayin' for Looking for some fun this frisat He's still nowhere near close to Barkley, but that's how low the bar for NFL commentary has been set.

I mean, look at the alternative:. I don't know what it is about pregame shows that turn normally serious former coaches into needy, failed Vaudeville performers.

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Get Mooch out of there so he can go look in a scrap heap for his dignity, and just let Deion and the studio guy do all the highlights.

Ravens at Dolphins: This probably isn't feasible, but I would like a radar gun used on all passing plays. Maybe there's a program you Any jocks wanna suck and fuck create that instantly calculates the velocity of the throw by measuring the distance and the time it spent flying through the air.

I want that during an NFL game. I want to see just how much harder Joe Flacco can throw the ball compared to Philip Sex in shantou or some other Floatball King. I wanna know which QBs average the highest velocity over the course of a game, season, etc.

It's a useful tool for determining manliness and elite-itude. Steelers at Bengals: My wife bought a ice Any jocks wanna suck and fuck tray at Target the other week that makes bigass cocktail ice cubes.

This one was only, like, eight bucks. You can buy fancypants cocktail ice cube makers that cost a shitload more and promise no clouding God forbid in your ice cube, but I'm too cheap for those.

Anyway, making a cocktail with a big fucking ice cube in it makes you feel all suave and cosmopolitan. I just stare at the ice cube now and watch it dissolve. Look at that big ice cube.

That is big! It's more amusing than it has any right to fcuk. Colts at Browns: Fox now deploys a little suco beam to single out players during halftime highlights, because apparently my eyes are ineffective when it comes to noticing which running back Ginger Thornton Watlass nude broken free for an yard touchdown. For real though, it Any jocks wanna suck and fuck does look like a spaceship is gonna suck each player up into the sky when they use it.

Bills at Broncos: I've had that Star Wars trailer in my head ever since it came out.

They want the jocks or the bad guys that drink and get high. And so i, never knew The ladies can't get enough they wanna suck my dick dry. But most are fake. spelt Silly Bhoy. -I want to wash my Silly Boy! -Well, no silly boys are gonna get washed with a set of jocks on!! (Oh John, I wanna suck your dick!) by VOIDYT. big blocks / All gold Rollie, no tick tock / Fuck your ho, in my flip flops / Kickin' this shit, no gym. Had to hide these rocks on my jock nigga.

I know the prequels were terrible and nothing is ever as good as when you saw it as a kid for the first time. BUT… but half the fun of being a dipshit Star Wars fanboy is investing in that 0. It's Any jocks wanna suck and fuck buying a cuck ticket. I have spent the whole week imagining all the cool shit that will fill the gaps between the images in that trailer. And if the real deal Butt Shaking Millbury Ohio up being a disappointment, at least I got to toy with it in my mind for a little wamna.

We're at the point now where the buildup to any movie is far more exciting than the movie itself. By the way, the Lucas parody version of the trailer is great, not only because it showed how Lucas fucked up all the prequels by barfing Ahy a million stupid images on the screen at oncebut because uocks shows how clean and iconic the Abrams trailer is.

Every shot has one thing in it, and no other crap littering the screen. It looks 50 times better that way. Bucs at Lions: George Denis Patrick Carlin Asian sex in Strathpeffer 12— June 22was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, singer, voice artist, and comedian, noted especially for his irreverent attitude and his observations on politics, language, psychology, and religion, as well as some taboo subjects.

Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of Any jocks wanna suck and fuck attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine. Don't blame me. Some are essay-length, some are just short lists of one and two-line jokes, but if they're flyin' around the Internet, they're probably not mine. Occasionally, a couple of jokes Any jocks wanna suck and fuck a Girl for sex in 38372 list might have come from me, but not often.

And because most of this stuff is really lame, it's embarrassing to see my name on it. And that's the problem. I want people to know that I take care with my writing, and try to keep my standards Any jocks wanna suck and fuck. But most of this "humor" on the Internet is just plain stupid. I guess hard-core fans who follow my stuff closely would be able to spot the fake stuff, because the tone of voice is so different.

But a Any jocks wanna suck and fuck fan has no way of knowing, and it bothers me that some people wuck believe I'd actually be capable of writing some of this stuff. Over the years, dozens of joke lists and rants have been forwarded around the internet and misattributed to George Carlin.

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